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difficult teenage daughter

difficult teenage daughter           reply
30/04/2013 14:47 - Behaviour / Discipline (Locality: Louth)
Hi All
Having a very hard time with my daughter, who plays her stepdad against me etc, she has a younger half brother, so am stuck in the middle with all of this going on, its very hard on all of us and very upsetting. Her behaviour gets worse after she sees her father, she only sees him occasionally. I have thought about sending her to a boarding school, she is in 5th year at the moment. Is it worthwhile sending her away to school or will that just make things worse.
Any help would be appreciated

re : difficult teenage daughter           reply
03/05/2013 15:55 - Behaviour / Discipline
Hi There..
First off im sorry your having problems with your daughter but i dont think sending her away to school is the answer.. maybe set out a "special" girls day out with her where you would both be on neutral ground , relaxed and around other people where she or you would not let an arguement flare up,, where you can both Talk to each other about whats going on in your lives,, and more importantly listen to each other,,, My children are not yet teenagers but I just about remember being one!!
I wish you the best of luck,and dont forget, she might not show it but she loves the bones of ya!! Nat xx

re : difficult teenage daughter           reply
16/05/2013 13:15 - Behaviour / Discipline
It does sound like she is just ´sad´ when she comes back from seeing her dad, maybe, as she has no regular arrangement to see him, she feels like he doesn´t really want to see her or seeing him reminds her that they don´t really have a relationship. Then she goes home and she sees your new family unit, and feels she is not quite part of that, no blame but you are the Mammy, your partner is Daddy and your Son is your baby. I think she is having problems realising were she actually belongs and is just lashing out. I have 2 teenagers, my 16 year old son drives me insane, he tells me nothing and is so cut off, but I find me getting angry with him just makes it worse, so when he is like this I do the same, give him his space and he comes around, I will get a couple of days were he talks to me again and then its back to the grump monster! Its a vicious circle, teenagers are hard work, give me a new born baby any day...Good LUck

re : difficult teenage daughter           reply
06/05/2013 20:58 - Behaviour / Discipline
Hi, you´re having a difficult time with your daughter because She is having a difficult time. Her relationship with her Dad is hard on her, as it seems unpredictable or inconsistant and makes her feel insecure. Then she has a step-Dad and a younger half-brother to deal with too. She really needs you to be her ally, to pay her attention, to listen to her, show an interest in her, spend one-on-one time with her, have good times together. It just sounds to me like she is possibly feeling very insecure and needs a lot of reassurance - so sending her off to boarding school would only worsen things, I imagine, as it could make her feel unwanted and isolated from her family. If you and her step-dad are co-parenting, you need to communicate a lot so that the kids can´t play you off each other; back each other up in front of the kids and discuss it later if there is something you disagree on. She shouldn´t be able to play you against each other - thats up to you two. Be seen to be fair.
It is a complicated situation and teens often go through tough times, but if you keep communication open and see her bad behaviour as acting out - help her to express her feelings in other more acceptable ways such as talking to you - things will come round in time. Stick by her, she really needs you more than anyone.

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