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re... : bullying           reply
06/01/2011 20:28 - Bullying
Sorry but even if teacher is keeping an eye, bullies are cute enough to find means. My son was bullied by a boy for almost six months, when not able to bully him in the playground, he resorted to waiting until he went to the bathroom and followed him in.When I reported this to the teacher, she admitted she never goes into the boys bathroom, and had thought I was an over protective parent. Often the signs are more obvious at home, the child will change in his behaviour, may even bed wet or become much more sensitive and grumpy. My son told me " I must be horrible because no one likes me". He was told this by the bully, yet 12 months later with the advise of a specialist, we have illiminated the problem.We did this by working with the teacher, who at first did not believe me but later became an essential ally.We managed to issolate the bully and provide the child with the skills to recognise his own value and not to judge himself on the opinion of a very mean and cruel young boy. An added advantage was that with the help of the teacher, the whole class learned to identify the signs of bullying. This stopped most bullying ,the real hardened bullies, now were less inclined to bully as they found the child was no longer alone. Now, each and every other child in the class understood the need to tell their teacher if they saw genuinely unfair activity. It is however important to deal with the problem and not hope it will go away. Often, with a large class, the teacher can miss the signs. Our problem only got solved because the teacher and parent worked together and teacher recruited the help of the class.When explained to them fully , most kids will understand the need to prevent bullying. Not all kids will get on together but all kids have a right to a torment free childhood. It takes time and attention but you will solve the problem. Stick at it though, it wont go away unless it is watched closely and action taken.

re... : bullying           reply
31/01/2011 15:43 - Bullying
my son has been bullied and it all came out when he broke down and said he couldnt take anymore and threatened suicide. immed contacted school, he is 14, the boys were called to office and after he was threatened in class in front of a teacher that they would kill him, that he was dead, ringleader already been suspended for bullying other kids. waiting on school board meeting to find out if they are being expelled. feeling so left alone and unaided by everyone. my son is now getting counselling and our family are devastated he put up with this for nearly 3yrs and felt so desperate. seeking legal advice. this bulllying of our kids has to stop. ENOUGH NOW!

re... : bullying           reply
07/01/2011 08:51 - Bullying

Your note of caution is a bit scary because this is what parents hear all the time at school. We have a great school and we really dont have a bullying problem. Maybe mum and Dad are too protective? Yes it is more personal and we may lack objectivity but we also see the damage done. Three children left our school because they ccould not cope with the other kids hiding their coats , eating their lunch and throwing their lunch boxes across the playground. I find parents asking me how did you solve the problem, i send them to the teachers and tell them I am not qualified to help them and every child is different. Unfortunately , my kids are happy awell adjusted and now well able to cope with mild and more sinister playground rivalry. This is not the case for all. As one mum said to me , why is it I have to leave when it is the same children all the time causing the problem!

re : bullying           reply
12/12/2010 18:38 - Bullying
If the teacher and principal are watching the situation in the yard and have assured you that it is not bullying, then this is something you should consider. The school playground can be a place where children get excited and where they interact with their classmates. It´s a hugely important part of school life as it is an introduction to how to cope with group activities, how to deal with a variety of kids, some gentle and some not so gentle, some over-exhuberant, others not so.
The most important thing you should do is to stop using the term ´bullying´. Above all, you should never use the term in front of a 4 year old as everything that happens will be ´bullying´. From what you´ve said, there could be some element of rough play but your son may be more involved than you think (I´m not saying he is). All children will report incidents from their own viewpoint and seeing things from the point of view of others is not normally an ability that is well-developed in a 4 year old.
Remain calm with your little lad, as he is learning in the school playground, finding friends and finding those with whom he does not, perhaps,have much in common. If you constantly focus on these alleged bullies, that´s certainly a big mistake. Why not try talking to your lad about other friends and taking the focus off these other boys? Try not to get too wound up about the situation. Keep in touch with the school and trust them to keep an eye, as they have assured you they are doing. Try to avoid using the word ´bullying´. As parents, we often make the mistake of thinking that bullies are always the children of other people. It´s possible that another parent may think that your son is bullying their child but that doesn´t necessarily mean that they are right.

bullying           reply
10/12/2010 22:07 - Bullying (Locality: Meath)
Hi ,my 4yrs old son started school in sept and hates school.since he started hes been hit ,pushed to the ground ,punched by the same two boys at least 3 times a week, it happens in the yard .ive spoken to teacher and principle who say their dealing with it but they "wouldnt consider it bullinging" they keep the child in question in from they yard the following day for 1 break,but problem generally starts again the next day.these boys are hurting other kids in the class not just my son.My sons behaviour at home has changed hes very angry and aggressive to me and his brother,I dont know what to do next
Any ideas??

re... : bullying           reply
07/01/2011 02:30 - Bullying
A great post Pauls. I couldn´t agree more that the teacher can be hugely helpful and is a very important person to consult and involve. Also that bullies can be very clever and often ensure that it is the moment that the teacher can´t see is when they say what they want. Delighted that your little one is doing well.

Having said all that, there are many many cases where the mention of the word ´bullying´ or focusing on an alleged bully can make children become victims. This can often be as much or more of a problem in creating a victim mentality. I have seen this happening with my own eyes and am mentioning it as a note of caution. Yes, I salute all you have said but just introduce this note of caution just to bring balance to the discussion as it is important that children are not made into victims.

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