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How do i help him best?

How do i help him best?           reply
02/08/2010 15:55 - Behaviour / Discipline
My son is 6yrs old and is going into 1st class in school. We had looked forward to his starting school as he has always had a thirst for knowledge and learning. However we found out that it was not going to be the experience we had hoped for. Almost immediately our son began getting in trouble and causing havoc in the classroom. The teacher found she had to spend alot of time to keep him ´´on task´´ and he found it quite hard to concentrate. His teacher contacted us within his first week in school and said she thought there was a significant problem and suggested we have him assessed for ASD. I was quite upset to be honest, and we asked her to wait a while to see would he settle in. But the year went on we spent more and more time in meetings with the teacher and principle and while he was top of his class acedemically his emotional outburst were very worrying. We had him assessed and were told he was intelligent and would eventually grow out of this stage and that there was nothing wrong with him medically. We hoped that the next year would be better and it was to some extent but the new teacher was of the same opinion. We brought our son to see several different doctors and specialists and all said he was not ADD/ADHD or on the ASD spectrum and that he was a very intelligent child.

Anyhow recently with another year and new teacher looming we again sought the opinion of an expert. And after several test and IQ evaluations he said that our son was classed as gifted but that his emotional level was that of a 6yr old while his IQ was 140 and that this was causing him to be difficult and emotional at times. So basically this is where we are and im not sure as to what to do next to help him. They have suggested in a report that the school offer him extra resource hours to help him and also that he have a buddy in school to keep him on task.

I would really like any suggestions of what we might do to help him and how we ourselves can cope with him better. He can be quite a handful at times and often causes arguments because of his tantrums etc.. Sorry for rambling i probably havent explained myself very well. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance

re... : How do i help him best?           reply
03/08/2010 18:18 - Behaviour / Discipline
A frustrating situation for him and it sounds like you are doing all you can and are happy to do more to help your son.

I´m not sure where you are living but there will be good suggestions on the gifted children site. Have you investigated Irish Centre For Talented Youth Courses? Any additional after school clubs would also be a good idea.

I´m a little exasperated to read about the latest suggestion by the ´expert´ who suggested the school offer additional resource hours. In the absence of a diagnosis, everybody knows that this is an impossible situation for an ´expert´ to be putting a school in. A school will not be able to submit an application for any additional resources to the Department of Education & Skills, on the basis of such a suggestion. Any such application by the school will, unfortunately, be dismissed by the Department.

Sadly, more and more ´experts´ are passing the buck back on to schools with such suggestions. In an ideal world, there should be such a provision for your son but in the absence of a diagnosis of ´Emotional Disturbance´ or one of the others you´ve mentioned, that´s not going to be provided to the school.

I am aware of one school where there were several such suggestions throughout last year, by various ´experts´ in relation to a number of different children, without any definite diagnoses. It is disappointing if that is the main suggestion that an expert can make as from your point of view, s/he is only passing the buck.

Having said all that, I hope that the other suggestions you have received will help to improve the situation. Also, in 1st class, there is a jump in the level of the work from senior Infants, which will helpfully suit your son.

re : How do i help him best?           reply
03/08/2010 07:58 - Behaviour / Discipline
You might also find the information on the following page on useful

re : How do i help him best?           reply
02/08/2010 18:18 - Behaviour / Discipline
Hi there,

My name´s Caroline, and a colleague of mine, Margaret Keane, runs a website called, to support families like yours. If you contact her via she has some good leads.

Wishing you the best, going forward.

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