Schooldays.ie - Ireland's Online Resource for Parents & Teachers

Parenting & Education in Ireland

Bullying

Bullying           reply
21/02/2011 09:50 - Bullying
-----------------------------------
In last few weeks my son has come home telling me firstly that one of the boys he is friends with has been tripping him up in the yard and bitting him, On one of the days on collection from school his teacher said he had a bump on his head and when she asked him he seized up and would not tell her who did it, a few days later on collection again he had another bump on his head and the same answer from the teacher. On questioning my son he told me the friend had tripped him again. A few days later we had his first pta and with all that was discussed we forgot to mention the bangs on the head, then last week early one morning in the school yard my son was playing with a group of boys and one of them kept pushing him in to a corner and hitting him. On seeing this i left it for a minute to see if my son would react and tell him to stop but he did not and so I went over and told the boy to stop and the others that this was not nice behaviour. THe boys mother seen me and I told her what had happened and she agreed. But later in the week on two more mornings the same child standing in front of mine in the line kept hitting him and my son eventually caved in and hit him back and told him to stop of course the teacher seen this and later told me their was a complaint of my son hitting. I have previously spoken to the teacher about this particular child hitting my son but I feel it is falling on deaf ears as the child is autistic. I don´t want to be complainging about the child I understand he has learning difficulties etc but it is my child that is on the end of it all. My so when questioned at home last week was so upset and distraught and then told us that two other boys in the class are pinning him against a wall and grabbing his arms until he has bruises. I am worn out with worry. How do i approach the teacher with this as I feel she will think its just me defending my child when infact the reason for my sons response to the behaviour is that he is being bullied by other boys. He is only going on five.



re... : Bullying           reply
02/03/2011 21:46 - Bullying
-----------------------------------
Hi Mother Hen, I have responded to you with a PM as I feel the conversation should now be private . Thank you.



re : Bullying           reply
22/02/2011 10:59 - Bullying
-----------------------------------
Hi There,
This sounds like it will get pretty out of hand if you don´t put a stop to it now. Firstly, arrange a meeting with the teacher. If you can, write down a list of the times that you feel that your son has been bullied (much of what you wrote in your post). If you have dates and times, that is very helpful too. Discuss it with the teacher and ask her/him to keep a watchful eye for a few weeks and arrange to have a follow up meeting in about 2 weeks. During that time, make sure that you spend time with your son on a one to one basis to ´chat´ every day. This could be in the car or at bedtime - pick a time when you know that you will get the space and time to have a casual chat. Chat about how school is going - again casually, interrogating him will most likely make it shut down! For example, what did you play in the yard today? Do you like that game? If he says he was tripped up again, soothe him ´you must have hurt yourself?´ - again, always give him time to open up further. You can build up a record of the times and days that these incidents occur and if possible, the names of the other children involved. When you have your review meeting with his teacher then you can discuss what he/she has observed and what you have noted based on conversations with your son.
At that stage, the teacher can discuss how to approach the problem and ensure that the anti-bullying policy of the school will be implemented. Support the teacher as much as you can with this and continue to chat to your son and record incidents. You can then have a follow up meeting after about 2 weeks again where both you and the teacher can see if the problem has been solved or if further action is required.
Remember - work with the teacher to solve this and keep connected to your son so that you are aware of what is happening in school with him feeling like he is ´under the spotlight´ with you!
Please let us know how you get one.
Good Luck!




discussion forum terms & conditions